...trying to force back these tears. Have you ever been so close to revealing something about your life that could change your life forever? And not only your life, but the life of your whole family and their families?
I had to face the devil. I know the devil can't be all wrong. The devil helps us weed out the bad. So we should actually be thanking the devil instead of fearing him. He's basically on our side.
Still, this isn't about identifying the personality traits of the devil. This was about being able to embrace him with open arms and seeing the world through others' eyes.
I grabbed my cheap keychain that I bought from Family Dollar and headed for the door. It was a cool keychain. It had the letter F on it and I always thought it stood for "fuck" because I use that word the most of any other word out there. "Fuck" I said out loud. "How appropriate."
As I drove to the place where I knew time stood still, I passed the old house we used to live in. It had burned down and now there was a gas station there. Apparently the house fire was "mysterious" my mom told me. I chalked it up to God trying to make up for not being there for me when I pleaded for his help in that house. It was his way of telling me he was sorry. He can't rid the memories, but he can rid the house I guess.
I pulled onto the gravel driveway that made my tires sound like they were about to pop any minute. Knowing my luck, there is probably a sharp piece of glass that's going to rupture my tire and then I'll be stuck here forever. I stopped and stared at the house. The wrap around porch to the front door looked way too long like a five-minute hallway. "Fucking go" I kept singing in my head. "Cause I've done what I could for you. And I do know what's good for me." Thanks Fiona.
Step by step, the knot in my stomach hurt more and more to the point where I felt like a body builder with the tightest 6-pack tummy ever known to man. I stopped. I breathed in. Breathed out. Closed my eyes and invisioned the warriors who crossed this land hundreds of years ago. Clearly their battle was much harder than mine.
Time to go face the devil.
